


want to be your blood, want to be let in

by theseourbodies



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Blood, Gen, Handholding, Nightmares, Post-Episode: s06e25 O Ke Ali'i Wale No Ka'u Makemake (My Desire is Only for the Chief)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theseourbodies/pseuds/theseourbodies
Summary: Post ep 6.25Mistaking skill for luck protects you from your failures, but it also steals the glory from your victories. Danny and Kono talk in the hospital.





	want to be your blood, want to be let in

When he first lost her, Danny dreamed about Grace every night. It had scared the shit out of Rachel to see him so upset, but they hadn’t been where they would be four years from then—looking for soft places on each other to sink their teeth into before the other could find their own places first—so she hadn’t ever gotten angry about it like he’d thought she might. Just wide eyed and scared and wanting her hands on him and his on her, nothing more than comfort touching, his shaking hands going calm and still over the little hill of her belly.

He’d spent a lot of nights with his hand just there, trying to remind himself with touch alone that there was still something to live for, even in a world on fire. The dreams—bad ones, where he wandered endless warehouse rooms for her, nothing but the sound of her voice to lead him, ones where he was always too late, and good ones that went bad, the two of them talking about nothing on a stake-out until he looked over and found her crying, found her with her hand clenched over her belly, cursing and screaming endlessly—slowed eventually, but they never stop. He still wakes up sometimes, begging for her to stay, even if she’s in pain, even if it hurts. Just stay, and he’ll fix it; just stay with him.

It’s funny, but in a crisis begging seems to be the only thing Danny’s really good at. He’s doing it now, silently, as the nurses tell him to count backward from ten. _Please_ , he thinks, _please_ , and in his mind’s eye, right before even simple thinking becomes impossible, he sees Grace’s face more clearly than he has in years. A sign, maybe; hopefully not an omen. 

// 

He’s lost control of the plane and of the suspect and the location of the red and purple sea and the black sky, the whole huge body of the plane tumbling over and over, end over end like he knows, knows, it shouldn’t be capable of doing. Danny forces himself to look away, to look at Steve, and the cut in Steve’s belly is clean, almost surgical, seeping black blood that is filling the cabin and the body of the plane so quickly, too quickly, at Danny’s ankles and then his knees and then his hips, heavy as wet concrete. Steve looks at him out of his bone white face and all he can say is Danny’s name. Danny is trying to talk to him, to beg him to listen, to stay alive, just a little longer, but no words come out. Control on the radio won’t stop talking, and the plane is going down, no beach anywhere, just the ocean rushing up. 

Danny jerks awake on impact, his whole body screaming with the red, throbbing pain of busted bone and a burn low on his belly. He becomes aware distantly of someone talking to him, a warm, strong hand on his arm, and he almost calls for Rachel, still stupid from sleep and fear. 

“Hey, Danny, hey,” Kono’s voice comes from the left, and he seeks her out instinctively, eyes going from her face to her arm to her hand, clutching at his arm painlessly. “Ok?” She asks, concerned and soft like he’s only ever heard her when she’s exhausted. 

He almost yanks the IV out trying to get his right hand on hers; he checks himself and tries again, going slower, and tucks her hand into his. Heart still racing, he nods, jerkily. “Yeah, babe, ‘m fine.” 

“Bad dreams?” 

“Really not good, no.” Danny eyes her face critically as she blinks at him muzzily and squeezes his hand weakly. If he’d woken her up, it hadn’t been from a restful sleep; the chairs in the recovery unit are meant to be slept in, but that doesn’t make them actually that comfortable. “Time’s it, Kono?” 

Some of the sleepiness clears from her expression when she grins at him. “Not really that late. Still visiting hours.” He raises an eyebrow—‘visiting hours’ have always been flexible when it comes to Five-O—and she chuckles. “Real visiting hours, I swear. The nurse said you might wake up before they close to visitors, and I knew it’d be better if someone was here. I was just… worried about you." 

The muscles of Danny’s face ache like the rest of him, too much tension held for too long; when he smiles, he can feel it in his shoulders. “Well see, that’s very good, I was pretty worried about me, too.” 

Kono pulls herself up to hitch a hip beside their hands where they rest on the bed, sighing. “Wish that were actually true,” she says seriously, and Danny’s expression goes crooked, rueful. Yeah, sometimes he wished that, too. “Not that I’m not grateful,” she continues, and almost unconsciously they both look to the curtain separating Steve from the rest of the room. 

That curtain makes Danny shiver, sudden, irrational fear running over all other knowledge. His heartrate bumps up, and the machine next to the bed betrays him. 

“You ok--?” 

“Could you—” 

They both try to speak at once, cutting one another off; Kono nods for him to speak, concern drawing her eyebrows together and making her frown. Danny laughs to himself, says, “You mind pulling the curtain for me? I pulled it after you all left, forgot to open it before I fell asleep, and I need to—I just need it open.” 

She doesn’t say anything, and he loves her for that, for the simple, accommodating nature of her affection. She just pats his hand quickly and hops up to take care of it, gently easing the curtain open to make sure she doesn’t wake Steve up—though they both know that the post-op meds are more than enough to knock Steve out for a day or more. And indeed, their fearless leader is well and truly out of it, snoring lightly through his open mouth and looking nothing at all like he did in that plane, terrible and pale and dying. Danny blows out a breath and lets himself relax back entirely into his pillow for what feels like the first time since waking up. 

“Was that what you were dreaming about?” Kono’s voice is soft, conspiratorial. 

“Yeah. The plane. Steve. All the good stuff. But this, seeing him and you, this helps; I saved him, I landed that tin-fucking-can and I saved him. I haven’t always been that lucky. Didn’t actually think I was going to be that lucky this time, either, to be honest.” 

There’s a pause; Kono shakes her head slowly, still looking at Steve’s still body. “My mom, she always told me that confusing luck and skill might protect you from your failures, but it stole your victories, too. And this? Was one hell of a victory.” She catches Danny’s shocked expression and grins fiercely, gripping his forearm and squeezing when he dumbly grips hers back. “We’re too damn good to be lucky, Danny,” she whispers, knocking her forehead gently into his, “Don’t let luck steal it from us.” 

“I—yeah, I—Christ, Kono,” Danny has to turn aside, though he doesn’t pull away. He’s not crying, but his eyes are dry and gritty like he his body wants to, and that’s the last thing he needs. She grins at him, her own eyes bright. She squeezes his arm one more time and rises. 

“Just keep that in mind, ok? We still have both of you, and that’s more than enough for us.” 

Danny just smiles at her stupidly, unable to muster up any defense. “Get out of here, Kalakaua,” he says, voice rough and fond, “Get some sleep in an actual bed.” 

“Sir, yes sir,” she says cheekily, rising up and giving him a terrible salute just as the door pops open to reveal the night nurse. 

“Officer—” 

“I’m on my way out now, don’t worry,” Kono assures the man, turning at the door to give Danny one more serious look. “Just keep that in mind, Danny. I’ll see you later.” 

“I’ll be here,” Danny quips drily, giving the nurse an insincere smile. 

Kono’s laugh lingers after she goes; Danny savors it and watches the slow, steady rise and fall of Steve’s chest across the room. He wasn’t able to save Grace, and he does his own penance for that failure with every day he lives longer than she did, in everything he does and everything he lives for. _Don’t let it steal the victory_ he thinks muzzily, and maybe it’s Grace Tilwil’s voice and maybe it’s his Grace’s voice; they bleed in and out of one another, the reminder and the one to live for. 

When the nurse moves away from him he lets the growing dark of the room come over him and slips, fearless, back into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> For palace. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr at wecouldbeheroes-loverswecouldbe.tumblr.com


End file.
